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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690278">at that moment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciousracket/pseuds/viciousracket'>viciousracket</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, dracos thoughts, poor scared little boy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:26:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>631</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciousracket/pseuds/viciousracket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>it was only in that moment, the wind of the night pushing against him atop the astronomy tower, that draco knew deep within himself that he was on the wrong side of the war. </p><p>i rewatched half-blood prince tonight, and whenever i see how draco acts throughout the year, i always wonder what he’s thinking, so this is just a little insight i guess.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>at that moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it was at that moment, when he had seen, had felt his own magic expel dumbledore’s wand across the room, that draco knew. he had been thinking, been ripping himself apart since school began, since he had been given his task. but it was only in that moment, the wind of the night pushing against him atop the astronomy tower, that draco knew deep within himself that he was on the wrong side of the war. </p><p>it was at that moment, when the death eaters he had let into hogwarts only moments before stormed in, a wicked grin on his aunt bella’s face, that draco knew. the place he called home for 10 months of the year, the place where he could find warmth, the place he had friends and fun and laughs and joy; the place draco had just compromised. it was when bellatrix egged him on, taunted him, laughed at the old man standing helpless in front of them, that draco knew. he was just as bad as they were.</p><p>it was at that moment, when he himself saw his headmaster utter his last word, please, that draco thought the same thing. please. please. it was at that moment, when for a spilt second the old man's face morphed into that of a begger, that draco begged himself. he begged potter to come and save the day, like he always did. he hoped against hope that before snape could finish what draco had started, harry potter would break down the door and save them all. save the world. save draco. please. too late.</p><p>it was at that moment, when the bolt of green lightning struck dumbledore, and for a moment the world seemed to freeze, that draco felt sick. he felt bile rise to his throat, his own body rejecting him. his eyes had moved on their own as dumbledore fell. just an old man. an old man he’d helped to kill. his left eye twitched when bellatrix laughed. his head bowed when over the ledge of the tower, the body could no longer be seen.</p><p>it was at that moment, stumbling down the hill, away from his second home of six years, that draco wished harry was there. it was too late to save the day, draco knew. the day had been lost. the dead leaves crunching underfoot, blood pounding in his ears but cold in his veins. aunt bella pouncing around, snape marching ahead. it was at that moment that draco wished harry was there to kill him.</p><p>it was at that moment, when he heard potter shout. it was at that moment when snape deflected his spells. it was at that moment, when draco heard the broken cries of a boy who’d lost too many, who had too little left. it was at that moment that draco prayed that harry potter would kill them all. that somehow, he’d beat snape. he’d beat bellatrix. he’d beat the other cronies that had followed his aunt through the cabinet. it was at that moment, when he heard harry’s voice break as he screamed at snape. just a boy. just 16. that draco promised himself. if potter’s wand pointed his way again, he wouldn’t fight back. he wouldn’t beg for mercy, he’d beg for none. </p><p>it had been at that moment, weeks ago, when he was lying broken and fragile and bloody on the cold tiles, that draco had been thankful. an out. </p><p>and it had been at that moment, staring up at the hospital wing stone ceiling, that draco had wished snape hadn’t arrived. that harry had finished the job. that he wouldn’t have to face the task set for him. that he hadn’t been healed. it had been at that moment that draco had wished he was dead.</p>
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